However, the head of the preschool doesn't like this. She talked to me a couple months ago about not leaving my kids in the car. I politely listened, and then I ignored her and continued to do what I was doing. I don't see the danger of leaving kids who can't get out of their seats in a car with the doors locked for just a handful on minutes. "Well," you might ask, "what if something happens?" "What," I would like to ask, "do you really think is going to happen?" Maybe an escaped felon on the run from the police decides to hijack my minivan? I probably wouldn't be able to stop him even if I was there. I can't think of a likely scenario that would happen in the few minutes that I am gone. If I bring my kids in with me, however, I can imagine falling down the stairs with a baby in my arms, or my three y.o. escaping my handhold darting out in front of a car. To me, they are safer in the car.
So the head of the preschool sends out an email to all parents on Friday saying:
It has become an all too frequent event where parents are leaving their children in cars when they pick up/drop off children in school. It is ILLEGAL to leave children in cars unsupervised. I have called the police department. They will be conducting random checks at drop off and pick up times.
How's that for fostering a sense of community? "You are leaving your children in your cars for a few minutes in a secluded church parking lot. I don't like it, so I'm going to get the police after you, you child neglecter!" Maybe it's just me, but that's what I read when I see that message. Yes, it is illegal in Maryland to leave a child under 8 alone in a car, even just for a minute. But so is speeding. And not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign. And swearing while on the highway (in Rockville) and taking a lion to the movies (while in Baltimore) (really). I don't see us calling the cops on each other for these things. Sure, call the police if someone leaves their kid in the car when it's hot outside or when the lion eats someone at the movies. But let's not worry about the little stuff okay? Let's not freak out over 5 minutes. We don't live in CSI-land where everyone is getting killed or maimed.
The whole mentality that our children are in potential danger every single second really irritates me. I once picked up a parenting magazine in a doctor's office and the first two things I read were: 1. Strap your child down to the changing table when you change them because they could roll off the table even if you're are standing right there and could die! and 2. Bundle your kids up when you go outside because an unheated car is dangerous for them because they lose heat faster than adults, and if left long enough they could go in hypothermia and die! You think I'm exaggerating. I'm not--just paraphrasing.
Yes, bad things happen. You need to be a responsible adult. But let's temper it with some sanity, please? If we imagined all the ways our children could be hurt we'd go insane. We wouldn't be able to function. We'd put them in a bubble, lock them in their rooms and throw away the key. You could probably win some parenting award for doing just that.
Anyway, back to the preschool thing. Parents are rallying together to serve as buddies for each other to watch each other's kids. I say, fine. Go ahead. It's still stupid to be all hyper over a few minutes. I'll probably go along since I don't want to receive a ticket or be arrested for child endangerment.
But is this preschool freakin' insane?! Even though preschool is a school, they are foremost a business. What business calls the police on their paying customers? Sure, calling the police about parents leaving their kids in the car for long periods of time I can understand. But sicking the police on customers for a few minutes? C'mon. This preschool recently moved and has had a drop in enrollment. They need all the students they can get next year. This email makes the preschool head seem rash and belligerent. There was no discussion recently about this issue. Just out of the blue: "I'm calling the police on you."
And the preschool moved because the church voted not to renew their lease. There was also mentioned some sort of personality conflict between the two organizations. I always just assumed the source of the conflict was all on the church's side. Now I don't think so........
2 comments:
The attitude that your child is in mortal danger every second bothers me too.
I recently read an article in the American Bar Association's magazine that talked about how helicopter parenting and other forms of hyper-vigilance has 1) become increasingly normal/accepted in US culture, 2) is not particularly healthy for children, and 3) lawyers and the structure of the law may be contributing to the trend (along with parenting magazines).
For example, as Americans, we often pass laws that restrict parents/force them to act in a certain way, but nobody objects to the law because it makes our kids 'safer'. An example of this is requiring booster seats until age 8 or always requiring bicycle helmets/knee pads/wrist guards/etc.
The article also pointed out that setting up laws that virtually require parents to watch their children attentively every nanosecond is nuts because it's also impossible - what do you do when you use the bathroom? (The following month's letters to the editor section was quite interesting to read as well, as you might imagine.)
Having to go through the licensing process for doing day care taught me that people who are teachers, doctors, day care providers, or a few other professions are legally required to report any child endangerment issue they see or even have good reason to SUSPECT. Furthermore, they can loose their license for failing to do so. So from the preschool's perspective, they may feel they have to do this or risk loosing their license to operate.
Also, the preschool director has probably talked to several parents individually about this and seen no change. When a number of parents decided they're still going to leave their kids in the car, she decided to send a warning letter. Admittedly, it would have been a better business relations strategy to send a letter without drawing in the police, but then sending that sort of letter without mentioning the police could maybe be used as grounds to nullify the facility's license.
So in summary: blame the lawyers?
That's right. Down with lawyers!!!.....except for Rory. We'll let him live.
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